6 months and I cut

Today I made attempts to cut myself, I was cutting on my leg right above my knee, but it didnt go like usual I was having a hard time making bigger slices on my skin that would satisfy me. Luckily my boyfriend came in and stopped me from doing more damage.
This weekend has been a hard one I have been feeling hopeless and like a complete failure. I fought with my live in boyfriend everyday many times of day, cried a bunch also. Im sure it was all a trigeer to end my 6 months of not cutting. I hate triggers and I hate myself and my mind. After cutting I felt numb, oh to be a borderline and in a relationship is crazy, why do I even try?

Inside a Borderline Blog post 1

3 1/2 years and I still wake up everyday with my bpd front and center. It has ripped through the last 3 1/2 years of my life, causing uproars in every aspect of my life. 6 therapists, 8 different meds, 2 hospitalizations, 2 failed long term relationships, many nights of cutting on my arms and legs, many pieces of broken objects and so many tears shed, I am on the verge of all these happening everyday I wake up. Now at 25 I'm trying again, I'm trying to help myself, get the treatment I know is needed, trying to began to beat this monster that eats up my life and myself.

I would love to use this blog as a journal to capture what it takes and how it feels to get hope back into my life.

Read or don't read

its all the same inside a borderline...